(Week 22, day 1)
From now on we are keeping track on a daily basis. For those of you who do not already know, Tanisha is already dilated. The sack Aiden is living in has crept out of the cervix and is now semi-exposed. It could stay like it is for weeks, even months. It could break. It could creep back into the womb and the cervix could close. There are so many situations and possibilities we are not going to stress over what could happen. We are now praying for what we want to happen. Since Aiden's lungs are probably not developed at this stage, we need a few more weeks. We want him to stay put, and the water to hold fast for as long as possible. The target date for the absolute earliest where we'll start feeling a little more comfortable is June 16. That's 25 weeks. But for now, it's one day at a time. Every day gives my son more of a chance. Every day is important. We are in one of the best hospitals we could ask for with the best staff. They are taking such good care of my wife. If anyone on this earth can bring Tanisha and Aiden through this, it's the staff here. We are praying that God will guide them all to do exactly what is needed to protect our son. We believe he will make it out into this world alive and will grow and become strong and healthy. What we're asking is for prayer. If you pray, and really even if you don't pray, do it now. Pray that whenever our son comes out, he is developed enough that the nurses and doctors can keep him alive and allow him to grow up. Pray that when he comes out he has no brain damage, no eye or ear damage, no organ damage, and that he develops fully. I will hopefully be able to keep up with writing, but if not it's because I'm taking care of my family the best way I know how. Thank you all for your support and prayer and hopefully I will be able to continue to post with good news updates.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Panic attack
(Week 21, day 6)
I was just laying (or maybe sitting) down and relaxing. My mind often wanders when I do that. But on this particular day my mind decided to take a turn I wasn't ready for. I don't know if you've ever been thinking about something, and it turns from a thought into more of a vision. I had a vision. It flashed before me with picture-like clarity. I saw Tanisha going into labor. I saw us going to the hospital, and I saw my wife in the delivery room getting ready to push out a child. Then I stopped seeing. It changed to feeling. I felt this tightness in my chest, this squirming in my gut and this spinning in my head. Then it dawned on me, I was having a panic attack. Up to this point I was not worried at all. I had no problem with the thought of Tanisha giving birth. I was comfortable with the idea of being in the delivery room watching my son being born. But now? I'm not so sure. I've never been a panicky kind of guy, but that vision shook me. I'm having flashbacks now while I'm typing, as a matter of fact. Will I be ready? Will I be able to steer my wife through the labor? I'm going to have to be the one who thinks logically and rationally. Can I do that? I used to be sure, now...not so much. I swear if it's not one thing it's the next. I believe down in my heart that I'll be ok, but it seems like there's going to be doubt until the moment of truth. Then we'll see. Or maybe if I faint I won't see anything.
Ok really quickly I'll tell this story. I'm sure most of you have been waiting with bated breath for another story of me doing something to invoke the wrath of Tanisha. She's been laying low (on purpose) since "watergate". So this isn't anything big, but worth mentioning. I was driving to work the other day when I got a text. It was not a happy text either. It had attitude. I know, you're saying "You can't tell emotion from a text." Well maybe that's true in most cases, but somehow my wife put a whole lot of it in this text. It must be something that comes with her EPP. Apparently I had left the toilet seat down (not just the one you sit on but the cover also). Twice. What's the big deal, you wonder? Well I'll tell you. When a pregnant woman sits down, the intention is almost always to stay there for at least a little while. She has a purpose, because once she's down it's very difficult to get back up. Add with that the pressure of a now approximately 10-ounce human doing his best "So You Think You Can Dance" impression on her bladder, and using the restroom takes on a whole new meaning. So for me to cause her to have to sit down, get RIGHT back up, then sit again made her, how shall I say this? Pissed. That's how. Very very pissed. I have recently found out there are people reading this who are actually being helped out by my writing (yo Steve!) so I gladly share my stories in hopes that others will not suffer the same self-inflicted mistakes I have. All in a day's work for the Father of the Year.
I was just laying (or maybe sitting) down and relaxing. My mind often wanders when I do that. But on this particular day my mind decided to take a turn I wasn't ready for. I don't know if you've ever been thinking about something, and it turns from a thought into more of a vision. I had a vision. It flashed before me with picture-like clarity. I saw Tanisha going into labor. I saw us going to the hospital, and I saw my wife in the delivery room getting ready to push out a child. Then I stopped seeing. It changed to feeling. I felt this tightness in my chest, this squirming in my gut and this spinning in my head. Then it dawned on me, I was having a panic attack. Up to this point I was not worried at all. I had no problem with the thought of Tanisha giving birth. I was comfortable with the idea of being in the delivery room watching my son being born. But now? I'm not so sure. I've never been a panicky kind of guy, but that vision shook me. I'm having flashbacks now while I'm typing, as a matter of fact. Will I be ready? Will I be able to steer my wife through the labor? I'm going to have to be the one who thinks logically and rationally. Can I do that? I used to be sure, now...not so much. I swear if it's not one thing it's the next. I believe down in my heart that I'll be ok, but it seems like there's going to be doubt until the moment of truth. Then we'll see. Or maybe if I faint I won't see anything.
Ok really quickly I'll tell this story. I'm sure most of you have been waiting with bated breath for another story of me doing something to invoke the wrath of Tanisha. She's been laying low (on purpose) since "watergate". So this isn't anything big, but worth mentioning. I was driving to work the other day when I got a text. It was not a happy text either. It had attitude. I know, you're saying "You can't tell emotion from a text." Well maybe that's true in most cases, but somehow my wife put a whole lot of it in this text. It must be something that comes with her EPP. Apparently I had left the toilet seat down (not just the one you sit on but the cover also). Twice. What's the big deal, you wonder? Well I'll tell you. When a pregnant woman sits down, the intention is almost always to stay there for at least a little while. She has a purpose, because once she's down it's very difficult to get back up. Add with that the pressure of a now approximately 10-ounce human doing his best "So You Think You Can Dance" impression on her bladder, and using the restroom takes on a whole new meaning. So for me to cause her to have to sit down, get RIGHT back up, then sit again made her, how shall I say this? Pissed. That's how. Very very pissed. I have recently found out there are people reading this who are actually being helped out by my writing (yo Steve!) so I gladly share my stories in hopes that others will not suffer the same self-inflicted mistakes I have. All in a day's work for the Father of the Year.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Like sand through the hourglass
(Week 21, day 1)
Instead of creating one large post (which people have complained about in the past) I'm going to make today into two more bite-sized readings so you can come back later if you need to.
The other day my wife admitted to me sometimes she goes through periods of wishing she wasn't pregnant anymore. I laughed because I know she wants this child very much but it's a hard process. I have obviously never experienced this much of a pregnancy before. Even when my sister was pregnant I only saw her occasionally. I think the hardest part (well the second hardest part behind the physical toll it takes on a woman's body) is being patient through the entire 9-month process. Speaking of 9 months I must digress for a moment. Whoever came up with the calculation for pregnancy and said it takes 9 months should be shot. It is a 9 and a half to 10 month process. That's a BIG difference. I imagine it will be even bigger the farther along she gets. I mean really, at the 9 month spot we're going to be looking at more weeks like, "Really? There's more to go? For real?" Anyway back to my point. It's not just a process, it's the process of LIFE. Think about it. It's not a cake that may fall a little flat but still be delicious if you take it out early. We need every day so our baby can develop as much as possible. So you don't want to keep thinking, "Hurry up!" but you can't always help it.
Going through a pregnancy also makes you conscious of what your life is like at the moment. I mean, if you're busy, tired, stressed, short on time, strapped for money, etc. what's it going to be like when you have a whole other person added to your family? I've been trying to do as much planning (mostly financial) as I can to prepare myself and my family but who even knows. One moment I'm ready for the baby to be here, the next I'm questioning myself and my sanity. Am I really ready? Can I do this? Yes! No! I don't know! This is the neurotic mess I've gotten myself into.
Instead of creating one large post (which people have complained about in the past) I'm going to make today into two more bite-sized readings so you can come back later if you need to.
The other day my wife admitted to me sometimes she goes through periods of wishing she wasn't pregnant anymore. I laughed because I know she wants this child very much but it's a hard process. I have obviously never experienced this much of a pregnancy before. Even when my sister was pregnant I only saw her occasionally. I think the hardest part (well the second hardest part behind the physical toll it takes on a woman's body) is being patient through the entire 9-month process. Speaking of 9 months I must digress for a moment. Whoever came up with the calculation for pregnancy and said it takes 9 months should be shot. It is a 9 and a half to 10 month process. That's a BIG difference. I imagine it will be even bigger the farther along she gets. I mean really, at the 9 month spot we're going to be looking at more weeks like, "Really? There's more to go? For real?" Anyway back to my point. It's not just a process, it's the process of LIFE. Think about it. It's not a cake that may fall a little flat but still be delicious if you take it out early. We need every day so our baby can develop as much as possible. So you don't want to keep thinking, "Hurry up!" but you can't always help it.
Going through a pregnancy also makes you conscious of what your life is like at the moment. I mean, if you're busy, tired, stressed, short on time, strapped for money, etc. what's it going to be like when you have a whole other person added to your family? I've been trying to do as much planning (mostly financial) as I can to prepare myself and my family but who even knows. One moment I'm ready for the baby to be here, the next I'm questioning myself and my sanity. Am I really ready? Can I do this? Yes! No! I don't know! This is the neurotic mess I've gotten myself into.
Half way there
(Week 21, day 1)
We've seen the 20 week mark come and go, and things are changing so fast sometimes it's hard to keep up, but at the same time it seems like time is moving in slow motion (didn't I just post yesterday?)
First I want to say that since finding out we were having a boy we have gotten so many wonderful people offering congratulations, enthusiasm and help. I want to thank you all for that. I have also found out there are a lot more people reading my blog than I thought. I want to thank those people too, but also say to you who are anonymously reading, "CLICK THE FOLLOW ME!"
That being said, let's get to the good stuff. A week ago Tanisha had her 20-week appointment and we found out from her doctor that, get this, the original conception date is right on! Does that mean no more fretting over how far along she is? More to come on that in future posts I'm sure. We also found out that Aiden (previously known as Baby Cohen) is now in the 85th percentile when it comes to how big he is. So not only did he not "even out" like the doctor suggested since the last measurement, but he's gained 10%. As you can imagine Tanisha is not happy about this. Apparently my mom had a discussion with my wife about my size when I was born. She said I was big when I was born and somehow that translated into Tanisha's mind that I was a 10 pound baby (I just called my mom, the official measurements on this were 8 lbs, 3 ounces). So we have officially moved out of "how old is my baby really" mode to "how big is my baby going to get" mode.
Unfortunately this isn't just funny worry. While some of it is, mostly it is a real concern because the bigger the baby gets, the bigger and heavier my wife gets and that is causing her pain. Also as mentioned in a previous post, it will not be fun for her to push out an above average child. It's funny because when you talk to people about this they say, "Well as long as the baby is healthy, right?" Yeah how about you say that while you're trying to push a human being that is 40% bigger than average out of your body?!? I didn't think so.
We've seen the 20 week mark come and go, and things are changing so fast sometimes it's hard to keep up, but at the same time it seems like time is moving in slow motion (didn't I just post yesterday?)
First I want to say that since finding out we were having a boy we have gotten so many wonderful people offering congratulations, enthusiasm and help. I want to thank you all for that. I have also found out there are a lot more people reading my blog than I thought. I want to thank those people too, but also say to you who are anonymously reading, "CLICK THE FOLLOW ME!"
That being said, let's get to the good stuff. A week ago Tanisha had her 20-week appointment and we found out from her doctor that, get this, the original conception date is right on! Does that mean no more fretting over how far along she is? More to come on that in future posts I'm sure. We also found out that Aiden (previously known as Baby Cohen) is now in the 85th percentile when it comes to how big he is. So not only did he not "even out" like the doctor suggested since the last measurement, but he's gained 10%. As you can imagine Tanisha is not happy about this. Apparently my mom had a discussion with my wife about my size when I was born. She said I was big when I was born and somehow that translated into Tanisha's mind that I was a 10 pound baby (I just called my mom, the official measurements on this were 8 lbs, 3 ounces). So we have officially moved out of "how old is my baby really" mode to "how big is my baby going to get" mode.
Unfortunately this isn't just funny worry. While some of it is, mostly it is a real concern because the bigger the baby gets, the bigger and heavier my wife gets and that is causing her pain. Also as mentioned in a previous post, it will not be fun for her to push out an above average child. It's funny because when you talk to people about this they say, "Well as long as the baby is healthy, right?" Yeah how about you say that while you're trying to push a human being that is 40% bigger than average out of your body?!? I didn't think so.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The ring test rules!
(Week 19, Day 1)
I'm still flying high with the news that we're having a boy. I told just about everybody in creation. I know some great people, we have gotten a ton of positive responses. I got over 20 texts after I sent out the news so I thought I'd share them. Here they are in no particular order, typed exactly as I received them:
"Congratulations!!!! I'm sure ur thrilled :)"
"pmg! Congratulations! What is the name? Aint God good?" (I'm positive they meant 'omg')
"Congrats...... Lil josh jr"
"Congrats!!!, I hope he's a red head to match his cousin, lol"
"Congrats"
"whoooohooooo!"
"Sweet action bittles"
"Congratulations!"
"Congrats!!!! Who is this? lol!"
"WOW!!!! Congrats dad, im very happy for you both."
"CONGRATS!"
"Congratulations!!!! I'm so excited for you!!"
"I told u"
"My man!!!! Thats whats up fo real!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!"
"Kick ass! That's awesome. Congrats"
"Congrats!"
"Congrats my love! I get a beautiful nephew!!"
"Great!"
"Sweet action! Congratulations!"
"Yes! Evan has a play mate!!!!0"
"Whooooo hoooooo!!!! Joshie Jr?!!!!!!"
"Yes. got the email"
"I knew it! I'm so happy for you! I have boy clothes and diapers if you want them, they're urs! YAAAAAAAAAAY!"
"Redbox free rental code:" Oh wait that wasn't one of them.
So as you see there has been an outpouring of congratulations and excitement, which pumps me up even more. Now for the first time I feel myself ever so slightly wanting the baby to get here. I know I talked about enjoying the moment for what it was, but that feeling is there and it's real. I will not let it overwhelm me because then I'll start getting impatient and the time will DRAG. But, there's a part of me now that's ready for my son to be borned. Yes I said borned.
I'm not sure if I've talked much about our house, but we will be moving into a brand new house in November. We wanted to be there before Baby Cohen was born, but this is how it worked out so we're not complaining. The reason I bring that up is because we will have a room just for the baby. Tanisha has already had dreams about what it will look like and has all but decorated the whole room. Now that we know for sure it's a boy she's got it all down from the colors to the furniture the the wainscoting. Yup, wainscoting. It's going to be awesome. Of course, we will also be outfitting Staci with a whole new room. She's growing up and needs something distinctly her style so she will be getting just as hooked up as her brother, if not more. Luckily for our children we are spoilers because they will be the only rooms in the house to get new furniture right away. The man cave will just have to wait, sigh...
Ok so let me talk about the ultrasound. If you remember from the last one, Baby Cohen wasn't trying to give up the goods. This scan wasn't for finding out the gender, it was to measure the baby's body and make sure the head, heart, bones and everything else was the right size and shape. The nurse was taking her time, which was great because we got a good look at each part of his body. Then all of a sudden, there it was (picture 1). This little thing sticking out into space. Even though I believed it was a boy (I mean the ring test doesn't lie) just knowing for sure was this great feeling. We were in a doctor's office so I couldn't jump up and down and yell, but I did smile really big. I just smiled at my wife and my daughter. We were all laughing and smiling. It was truly a great feeling. The nurse continued to analyze and measure as we were basking in the great news. She was looking at his torso and heart, then out of nowhere he did a little flip and BAM there it was again (picture 2). Obviously my son isn't shy. I think he was thinking, "What are you looking at all that other stuff for? Isn't this what you came for?" Yes my son, yes it is.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention one more topic before I finish. We've decided on a name. So from now on Baby Cohen is no more and this is probably the last post you'll see that. Instead, I would like to introduce my readers, the World, and the World Wide Web to my son Aiden Lucas Cohen!
I'm still flying high with the news that we're having a boy. I told just about everybody in creation. I know some great people, we have gotten a ton of positive responses. I got over 20 texts after I sent out the news so I thought I'd share them. Here they are in no particular order, typed exactly as I received them:
"Congratulations!!!! I'm sure ur thrilled :)"
"pmg! Congratulations! What is the name? Aint God good?" (I'm positive they meant 'omg')
"Congrats...... Lil josh jr"
"Congrats!!!, I hope he's a red head to match his cousin, lol"
"Congrats"
"whoooohooooo!"
"Sweet action bittles"
"Congratulations!"
"Congrats!!!! Who is this? lol!"
"WOW!!!! Congrats dad, im very happy for you both."
"CONGRATS!"
"Congratulations!!!! I'm so excited for you!!"
"I told u"
"My man!!!! Thats whats up fo real!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!"
"Kick ass! That's awesome. Congrats"
"Congrats!"
"Congrats my love! I get a beautiful nephew!!"
"Great!"
"Sweet action! Congratulations!"
"Yes! Evan has a play mate!!!!0"
"Whooooo hoooooo!!!! Joshie Jr?!!!!!!"
"Yes. got the email"
"I knew it! I'm so happy for you! I have boy clothes and diapers if you want them, they're urs! YAAAAAAAAAAY!"
"Redbox free rental code:" Oh wait that wasn't one of them.
So as you see there has been an outpouring of congratulations and excitement, which pumps me up even more. Now for the first time I feel myself ever so slightly wanting the baby to get here. I know I talked about enjoying the moment for what it was, but that feeling is there and it's real. I will not let it overwhelm me because then I'll start getting impatient and the time will DRAG. But, there's a part of me now that's ready for my son to be borned. Yes I said borned.
I'm not sure if I've talked much about our house, but we will be moving into a brand new house in November. We wanted to be there before Baby Cohen was born, but this is how it worked out so we're not complaining. The reason I bring that up is because we will have a room just for the baby. Tanisha has already had dreams about what it will look like and has all but decorated the whole room. Now that we know for sure it's a boy she's got it all down from the colors to the furniture the the wainscoting. Yup, wainscoting. It's going to be awesome. Of course, we will also be outfitting Staci with a whole new room. She's growing up and needs something distinctly her style so she will be getting just as hooked up as her brother, if not more. Luckily for our children we are spoilers because they will be the only rooms in the house to get new furniture right away. The man cave will just have to wait, sigh...
Ok so let me talk about the ultrasound. If you remember from the last one, Baby Cohen wasn't trying to give up the goods. This scan wasn't for finding out the gender, it was to measure the baby's body and make sure the head, heart, bones and everything else was the right size and shape. The nurse was taking her time, which was great because we got a good look at each part of his body. Then all of a sudden, there it was (picture 1). This little thing sticking out into space. Even though I believed it was a boy (I mean the ring test doesn't lie) just knowing for sure was this great feeling. We were in a doctor's office so I couldn't jump up and down and yell, but I did smile really big. I just smiled at my wife and my daughter. We were all laughing and smiling. It was truly a great feeling. The nurse continued to analyze and measure as we were basking in the great news. She was looking at his torso and heart, then out of nowhere he did a little flip and BAM there it was again (picture 2). Obviously my son isn't shy. I think he was thinking, "What are you looking at all that other stuff for? Isn't this what you came for?" Yes my son, yes it is.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention one more topic before I finish. We've decided on a name. So from now on Baby Cohen is no more and this is probably the last post you'll see that. Instead, I would like to introduce my readers, the World, and the World Wide Web to my son Aiden Lucas Cohen!
And in case you weren't sure by the first picture:
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
G-Day
(Week 18, Day 4)
Wow, I just wrote the week and I cannot believe we're already at 18. It seems like we've come so far, but we've still got quite a ways to go. It's all so amazing to me. Tanisha's brother Kevin was asking me if every now and then it just hits me, "I'm having a baby." Yes it does. I still get this excited feeling in my stomach (nothing like the feelings in my wife's stomach I'd bet) when it hits me what's happening. I've said it before, I am so excited about this child.
Just a quick note, I just found out how to notify people when I submit a new post. Unfortunately for some stupid reason Google has only seen fit to be able to notify 10 people, so I had to start out with the closest family. For all my other readers I will work on putting together something that will notify everybody. To the chosen 10, please email me and let me know if received a notification please!
Now on to the subject of the week. Tomorrow is attempt number two for us to find out if we're having a boy or a girl, or G-day as I've dubbed it (g=gender for those of you having a little trouble). This time we're going to the geneticist, whom I've mentioned before. Due to Staci's PFFD, they are going to measure Baby Cohen's bones to make sure they are a normal size. Their equipment is much more detailed so there is a very good chance we will be able to see the gender. There are so many people waiting to hear this news, many of them excited about the prospect of pre-birth shopping. We have already began to pick out colors for the baby's room. It's funny because as much as we are wondering what the baby is, it seems like we've already decided we know. If we're having a girl that will really throw us off for a day or two, but I know we'll recover from that and get right back into planning mode.
Today Tanisha and I had another conversation about her conception date, unbelievable as that may be. She even had me unsure for a moment. We came to the conclusion (again) that the doctors are probably pretty accurate, but something tells me we'll have this conversation yet again sometime soon. I just like talking about the baby so however many times it takes, I'm fine with it. I love talking about my baby. I find ways to work my wife being pregnant into conversations so I can talk about it. I'm a little obsessed, but then if I wasn't I probably wouldn't be writing a blog now would I?
Wow, I just wrote the week and I cannot believe we're already at 18. It seems like we've come so far, but we've still got quite a ways to go. It's all so amazing to me. Tanisha's brother Kevin was asking me if every now and then it just hits me, "I'm having a baby." Yes it does. I still get this excited feeling in my stomach (nothing like the feelings in my wife's stomach I'd bet) when it hits me what's happening. I've said it before, I am so excited about this child.
Just a quick note, I just found out how to notify people when I submit a new post. Unfortunately for some stupid reason Google has only seen fit to be able to notify 10 people, so I had to start out with the closest family. For all my other readers I will work on putting together something that will notify everybody. To the chosen 10, please email me and let me know if received a notification please!
Now on to the subject of the week. Tomorrow is attempt number two for us to find out if we're having a boy or a girl, or G-day as I've dubbed it (g=gender for those of you having a little trouble). This time we're going to the geneticist, whom I've mentioned before. Due to Staci's PFFD, they are going to measure Baby Cohen's bones to make sure they are a normal size. Their equipment is much more detailed so there is a very good chance we will be able to see the gender. There are so many people waiting to hear this news, many of them excited about the prospect of pre-birth shopping. We have already began to pick out colors for the baby's room. It's funny because as much as we are wondering what the baby is, it seems like we've already decided we know. If we're having a girl that will really throw us off for a day or two, but I know we'll recover from that and get right back into planning mode.
Today Tanisha and I had another conversation about her conception date, unbelievable as that may be. She even had me unsure for a moment. We came to the conclusion (again) that the doctors are probably pretty accurate, but something tells me we'll have this conversation yet again sometime soon. I just like talking about the baby so however many times it takes, I'm fine with it. I love talking about my baby. I find ways to work my wife being pregnant into conversations so I can talk about it. I'm a little obsessed, but then if I wasn't I probably wouldn't be writing a blog now would I?
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